Smithville News 1909-04-30

              THE SMITHVILLE NEWS
vol. I.
Smithville, Indiana, Friday, April 30, 1909.
No, 36

Local News
—FRESH FISH—No. 1 Salmon at C. E DECKARD'S.
Mr. and Mrs. Robt. Baker of Bloomington, spent Sunday with Frank Fox and family.
Mr. and Mrs. John Cutright, and Miss Lula Baugh visited friends at Bloomington over Sunday.
Mr. and Mrs. Chas. Cline were visiting Bloomington relatives over Sunday.
Mrs. Rachel Dearmin, of Nora Springs, la., who is making an extended visit with Monroe Co. relatives and friends, spent this week here, with her sister, Mrs. W. W. Ross.

BLOOMINGTON KNOCKS.
Incongruity is always considered a liability, whether posessed by a man or an inanimate object. We heard only today, that Harry Axtell was sent to the pen for operating a concrete block plant in the ston e belt. Ye gods!!!
Bloomington does not amount to much, but there is more excitement to the square inch than in any other town on the map of Indiana. What with a murder, an embezzlement, and a suicide, we----but what next?
Bloomington merchants are already talking about raising the price on leather goods as a result of the disastrous attitude of the tariff. Nevertheless, it always puzzled us how they could sell shoes and gloves to the coeds as cheap as they did, considering the quantity required for each pair.
The Episcopalians are contemplating the erection of an exquisite little gem of a church, on the spot where their present house of worship now stands. It is an architectural symony.
Bloomington is in need of a new High School. The school has long ago out grown its present limits, and in justice to the students it should be replaced with a modern building. There are enough bacteria ignorama lodged in the ancient walls caused by its quandam use as a university, to innoculate all the students for the next ten years.

Mid-Summner Opening
Millinery 
One Day Only: Saturday May 1st.
A showing of the correct styles for summer.
Exclusive PATTERN HATS - - - No two alike
These styles are not shown elsewhere in
Bloomington.
You are welcome 
whether or not you want to buy a hat.
CAMPBELL & CO
Big Cash Store Bloomington, Ind

Mad dogs are getting scarce. It is a problem for more highly developed brains than ours how the city of Bloomington can take a man's money for dog tax, and a month after that episode shoot the dog for not carrying its head in a sling. There should be a rebate somewhere.
Too much church building in this town is apt to lead to a sort of a financial stringency. A man will always borrow, if he has not the money on hand, to contribute to a church building fund. With every one borrowing from the other, this town is in danger of having a sort of tempest in a teapot along the lines of the famous panic, not forgotten yet, by any means.
Madame de Stael says in one of her letters that Architecture is frozen music. We are inclined to agree with the gifted lady, who seems to have been wise beyond her time. At any rate the stone of the courthouse is exhibiting the most pronounced "coloratura" where it has been patched with the ever handy "Dugan."
A farmer approaching the city limits, was told by an observer that there was an ordinance against dogs taking in the town in an unmuzzled condition. He therefore held up an unsuspecting calf that was dutifully following its mother at the back of the wagon, and removing the calves weaning apparatus, (a wire contrivance fastened around its mouth) he put it on the dog. Necessity thou art a jewel. If that dog had gone mad, nothing on earth would have prevented an awful epidemic of hydrophobia.
The women are traveling around the square trying to get as many signatures to a remonstrance as possible. There are two sides to every question, and we think they take the best side. We believe in a university town there should be no public ale houses. But we also believe that if Bloomington could get rid of the university, it would be able to handle the saloons, and would prosper. Although a benefit to the public at large a college is an incumbrance to every town that has one.

A party of members of the local lodge of K of C went overland in automobiles to Columbus last Sunday to take in the initiation of a large class at that place. They had more than the usual run of accidents, including the time honored stunt of getting wrapped up in a barb wire fence for the sake of getting hot about it, and trying to climb a telephone pole, but arrived only two hours too late. Coming back each auto carried a pair of fills strapped to the bottom of the machine, in order to avoid any possible delays on the way.
Bloomington is a city of bum boarding houses. One place they, skim the grease off the dish-water to fry the potatoes, another place uses the coal dust from the fire-mans wash dish to start the fire, and one other place hopes at every fire that most of the charred wood will dry quick so they can make black coffee for the brave boys of the fire department.
—National Biscuit Co's. Snow-flake and Salt Rising Bread at C. E. DECKARD'S.